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Yesterday and today have been so productive. I turned in my application for the apartment in the morning, got a call around noon saying I was approved, and went in and signed my contract by 3. I moved my stuff out of my dorm yesterday night, got drunk in the hotel with my future stepmom, put my stuff in storage this morning, shopped with dad and Donna, showed them my sorority house, and now we are leaving Eugene and headed back to cali.

I really like this guy. I’d give up all the dudes for him. He doesn’t want a girlfriend though, (even though he says we can hang out, go to dinner, and do everything bfs/gfs do -___-). This is totally what I get because I did this to guys a lot once upon a time. I need to just stick with the good guys I have at home who actually want to be with me long term. Chilling with this guy is so fun though and he has the prettiest blue eyes ughh

My roomie is supposedly moving out tomorrow night to live with her sorority sister. Party in my dorm room :)

When you go by the frat house you did the walk of shame from last weekend



The day after hooking up with your ex after you swore you wouldn’t



But then again he only wants to play boyfriend when it is convenient for him. I want to get back to California so we can figure things out and I can get focused on being in a relationship. College has made me forget about some important things and people.

The guys in my dorm keep making fun of me about how much of a tease I am. I don’t mean to do it. I was telling them about how I actually sleep when I tell guys I want to have a sleepover. Then tonight, I was dancing  with (well the guys in my dorm said I was grinding on) this guy all night and he told me I could go back to his dorm after if I wanted. At the end of the night I told him I was leaving because some of my friends were super drunk (I didn’t drink at all) and I said he could come back and chill at my dorm for a little bit. I’m pretty sure he was expecting more, but I made sure to stay busy and have everyone cockblock. I have the dorm room to myself for the night because my roommate is staying in her parents’ hotel room. The guys all called me a prude for not doing anything with him, but I don’t care. I have a boyfriend at home and I’m not doing anything with some guy just because we danced on each other for awhile. I feel bad that he walked me back to my dorm and didn’t get anything he wanted, but at the same time a real gentlemen shouldn’t expect something in return. I had a fun night and I also found out the guy is in my huge business class.

I’m so sick right now and taking five different pills a day (two twice a day) sucks so much. I can’t wait to feel better. I wish I could just stay in bed for a few days, but I have midterms in my international studies and business classes. I probably shouldn’t have went to all those parties last week and I should probably skip the parties this weekend. I’m probably still going to the ones this weekend though x)

I drank a little and transformed into a slut basically tonight. This is the third time I’ve tried drinking and I really don’t think I’m going to do it anymore because I only drink a few sips and feel like throwing up and get dizzy af. Tonight I was dizzy, felt sick, and wanted to touch this dude. My friend Jack said, “once you two started hugging and touching, I didn’t see you two separate the whole night.” I feel like throwing up right now. He was a nice frat guy though and stopped whenever I told him to.

Last night was crazy af. We walked super far to hang out with these sophomores and had a pretty good time. My frustration is at an all time high, but I’m trying not to think about it.

To pledge, or not to pledge